I remember sitting in that booth at HAU in 2014, listening to phone calls, with A. It was wonderful. A magnificent time. Sitting there, next to her, being taken away, being attentive. A time of immense joy.

You have the same first name as A. And you are so beautiful. I loved you crying while making love. It was so amazing to hug you and tell you it’s OK. So beautiful to kiss you and hug you and touch you and play with you. I miss those moments so fucking much. And you are fucking crazy in the head, like full on out of your mind, yet smart as fuck and super upfront with your feelings and your needs and wants. You make me want to write you how much I fucking miss you, but I am terrified of what would happen, maybe you won’t respond. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I remember when walking back and you turned to me and wanted a last kiss. It was so beautiful. And I remember looking back at you, when closing the door behind me, you looking at me and me looking at you… Just… beautiful, and heartbreaking. I am afraid, even terrified, that the not even 24h we spent together will be the best 24h I will have this whole year. But I did have it, I was there, we were there, I remember, that trip that we were on, in that bed, on that walk, sitting with you on that bench. It was wonderful.